Hard Life.

Assalamualaikum.

I just started a part time job recently. It has been 6 days including today, and yes I am so new to this working environment.

Basically I signed up for inserting these sticks of rice (looks more like pulut panggang in Malaysia, but with no fillings and is not wrapped in and it looks crispier) inside a packet and there are various kinds. A packet of 3,4 or 5. But I have done not just that.

My place of work is in a small factory and is situated near the paddy field so you can figure out where it can easily gets the source of rice and alｌ. Other than filling the packet, I am assigned to other kinds of work as well. Like putting the sealed packets into boxes or baskets or this huge tray and the latter is the dreadful one because this tray consists of 20 pieces and I had to lay all the packaging in order. The packet of 5 is the easiest, but the packet of 3 is hell. But I am starting to get used to it (i hope) so I think I can manage it, soon.

Other than that are like sealing boxes, put sticker on packets, arrange boxes in the store, taking out the trash and such. Ahah. My part time job is from 4 to 8. IN THE MORNING. haha meant to emphasize that. So yeah. My biological clock will start to deteriorate around 6 in the evening but I need to perform Isyak first which is around 7 so like routinely I will sleep at 8 p.m, which is 7 p.m in Malaysia, just so I can get that beauty sleep of mine. Muahahah

As I am in my final year and Alhamdulillah had passed all the required classes (credits) to graduate, now I only need to do my research, write that darn thesis, and do my final presentation before I am officially graduated, InsyaAllah. That is why I decided to involve myself with something to make my life busier? Haha no. You see, apart from getting additional money, the benefits of it is gaining experience and knowing the truth about working my ass off just for a sum of money. Now I know what does the peribahasa [Titik Peluh] meant. I sweat myself to the point of dehydrated haha And as I will be working in a factory environment starting April next year InsyaAllah, I think this is a good preparation for me as well. Although the field of work is totally different but hey, money can't buy experience dude. So I hope I will be well prepared for the upcoming environment. (Besides, I didn't intern for anything which was a waste so maybe this could cover it up?)

Ouh.
What did I get what did I get from this short period of labour? Pain in the ass. Haha joke joke.
I should list it out. But mind you, this is my first time working, and you readers may have more experience than me and taste the salt earlier so forgive me for my childish rant haha so here I go; ps: this list came out randomly and are not according to any sequences.

1.  Sincerity, honesty
Make sure to follow all the working guidelines that has been told including the recess time (which is only 5mins and that is to perform Subuh prayer!), the procedures in entering the working area, pour all your heart out for the work and InsyaAllah it will become easier (or just imagine the new watch you would buy with the salary that you have in mind haha), correctly count the packaging and make sure to tell the manager of what's bothering you (mistakenly punch the card or in need of holidays) and renew your intentions everyday (make sure it is pure!). On top of that, always do your work as if you are really eligible to earn the money, so do your best for it. Alongside that, do pray for the barakah of it okay?

2. The difference of teaching and educating
Teaching is just a teacher telling a student to do this and that while they stood far and watch whereas educating is a person showing us how to do something, then do along with us, then wait until we already have a hang of it, and after they are sure that we can do it alone, they leave us be and will give an occasional visit (help) when we are in trouble. Oh my, Nisak. You've learnt this in DnT, how can you forget??? haih and this is all just a revision of human relations and I am currently in practical.

3. Respect
To the manager or the authorities, always give a warm smile and excuse them for their shouts and screams because humans do make faults and you of all human are not excluded. Because deep down they are good humans too and because they don't acknowledge about the infinity limit of patience, forgive them instead and try your very best on the next day. Don't quit. You are not a quitter unless if they fire you T.T greet them morning when you see them first, and bid them farewell when you finish your shift last. Reply politely to all of their babble even if you don't understand a thing. (haha)

4. Attentive
As slow as sloth as you are, do learn to improve. Yes, it takes time to be a pro but that is not a valid excuse for the 10th time. Ordinary people should get used to what they are doing by the 4th time, so, learn, practice or do whatever you can to be a fast learner. The industry doesn't need people with high CGPA or your numerous dean's list awards, it needs people who can quickly blends in with the surroundings. The faster your pace, the faster you can get to the top. (Although I cannot be sure which top would you end up with) Discover your own self and focus on every instruction until the very tiniest one. Might be that the smallest details can give a great impact.

5. Flexibility
You won't stay on the same tasks every single day. There will always be something else to do. So you have to train your mind and body on how to be a multitask-er and can focus on doing your job even when talking. And working hours, they might asked you to come during your off-day but oh well, what can you do? They need your help and you need the experience (read:money) which is symbiotically legit so what's holding you?

6. Gratitude
For them understanding that human bodies have their ups and downs and allowing extra minutes of rest after the body had reached its exhausted limits. And for Allah who makes it easier for us to perform our prayers in a non-believer surrounding sure is the best blessing of all. May Allah will also open up their hearts bit by bit by seeing our devotion to You.

But the ultimate realization that hit me straight to the kokoro is the fact that waking up to get to work is easier than waking up to meet Allah. This is the hardest lesson. T.T May you readers and I will istiqamah in our own ways of mujahadah InsyaAlah.

And may I survive this whole 3 months of part-time job!

Rebelling mind.

Assalamualaikum.

It's the time when I just wanted to balled up in my hard bed and hide away in the warmth of  my blanket,
When my sanity screams that I go out somewhere and soak myself in the sun and let the light reach the deepest, darkest corner of my soul.

It's the time when I just wanted stay at home not meeting anyone and be the lonely wolf that changes into a werewolf every time the moon is the brightest,
When I longed for those catch-up session with those limited numbers of people that I missed and my face would beamed with delight that would lasted for a month.

It's the time when I had had enough of being a good girl and wanted to be a total reckless jerk just to feel how is it like to be hate by all,
When my conscious knew that I can never even smack a cockroach till it burst without crying over the misdeed I would be doing and that I would drown in my own oblivion if I knew someone hated me to death.

It's the time when I hoped that I have chosen a different path of life so I can do something other than what I am doing now,
When my belief reminded me to always be grateful on what I have and to accept that whatever road that we are on had been decided since before we were born.

Bipolar disorder. Anxiety. Depression.

Don't let it get into your head. Maybe you don't have it but your brain make you think like you suffer from it.

And here I am consoling myself with my contradict-self.


Maybe I should get myself a psychiatrist.