Assalamualaikum.
It's the time when I just wanted to balled up in my hard bed and hide away in the warmth of my blanket,
When my sanity screams that I go out somewhere and soak myself in the sun and let the light reach the deepest, darkest corner of my soul.
It's the time when I just wanted stay at home not meeting anyone and be the lonely wolf that changes into a werewolf every time the moon is the brightest,
When I longed for those catch-up session with those limited numbers of people that I missed and my face would beamed with delight that would lasted for a month.
It's the time when I had had enough of being a good girl and wanted to be a total reckless jerk just to feel how is it like to be hate by all,
When my conscious knew that I can never even smack a cockroach till it burst without crying over the misdeed I would be doing and that I would drown in my own oblivion if I knew someone hated me to death.
It's the time when I hoped that I have chosen a different path of life so I can do something other than what I am doing now,
When my belief reminded me to always be grateful on what I have and to accept that whatever road that we are on had been decided since before we were born.
Bipolar disorder. Anxiety. Depression.
Don't let it get into your head. Maybe you don't have it but your brain make you think like you suffer from it.
And here I am consoling myself with my contradict-self.
Maybe I should get myself a psychiatrist.
